Not this Way, God

Lately, due to construction and road work, I have often had to sit in back-ups. Anytime I am out and traffic seems light, I give thanks for the break from waiting. This was the case a couple of Saturdays ago. With cool air blowing through the windows and my favorite music playing, I was relishing the scarcity of cars as I drove toward the sun as it melted over the Olympics.

This moment faded fast as I began slowing to meet the 200 meter backup ahead of me in my (formerly empty) right-hand lane. Best I could, I queued my frustration and then jumped into the nearly empty left lane.

Yet, I soon stopped and saw what was causing the hold-up to my perfect evening. At the front was a mallard and her ducklings stuck on the left-hand shoulder with the cement median to their left. They were desperately waddling to cross over the two lanes to their right to the safety of the shoulder and waiting bush. Trouble was, the two front cars (me included) slowly drove forward behind these ducks as they fearfully moved straight forward. The closeness of our vehicles prevented them from leaving the left-hand shoulder and crossing in front of us.

Momentarily, I experienced first-hand the *Bystander Effect. Yet, not for long. Jumping out and drawing on my former-life horse skills. I bravely and beautifully hearded these 9 lives off the road to the honks and thumbs-up of other drivers.

Here's what hit me and will not leave me for a long time. As I was clapping, shooing, directing, and waving these ducks to safety, they were not the least bit happy. Tripping and falling, the little ones were scared to the fullest measure of their pea-sized brains. The mother was just downright angry and nearly ready to attack me though she gave in to my seemingly dictatorial human manners.

I thought of me. I sure am a lot like the mother duck. I become angry when things do not go by my plans. I want things my way. My terms. My timeline. Now. When things don't go my way, I think I'm being led by a distant and uninvolved God or a God who does not have my best interests in mind. I turn to God, "What are you doing? Why this way and not some other way?"

Or, like the ducklings, I become fearful when I see the path I believe I am to follow but don't want to go. In my anxiety, I dig in my heals and become stuck.

Here's what else I do. Seeing myself do this, I'll feel guilty for being this way with God. How could I have questioned God, gotten so upset? I must really have gotten God pretty angry with me for being that way. I best step away from him for a little while, let things cool off between us.

However, I then begin to think of God in a different way, one much more in line with Scripture. (Even this is God's leading.) Maybe God's true way with me is a little more like the style of my duck-hearding. God directs and leads us on the right path. It's the path that seems anything but right to us, particularly in the moment. "You mean I have to waddle in front of all those vehicles?" Yet, it's the way to go, and resistance is really the pathway of death - physically, emotionally, spiritually. As well, maybe he has just a bit more patience with me than I do with myself. I kick, fall down, trip and get upset while learning life's lessons following his path. God takes it in, doesn't turn me away but continues to shepherd and guide me knowing I'm just a wee little duckling who doesn't always know better. God does, though, and he'll continue to lead me on the way to go.