Ice Tea

As a boy growing up, Mom and Dad often entertained guests for dinner. This usually started with Dad cleaning the house a couple of days in advance. Often, he would wax and polish the hardwood floors. Not that things were normally a mess, but guests meant extra special attention that all things were neat and clean. Off limits most of the time, the dining and living rooms would come out of hibernation to host the guests. People didn't randomly drop over too often. It wouldn't be polite, I guess. So the dinner parties, socials, and get-togethers were usually planned and somewhat formal. I always enjoyed the various food items and buzz of activity. Even more, I was free to play without supervision and occasionally make mischief.

Mom's good friend, Mrs. Coleman was polished, proper, and full of etiquette. She was over for tea one day. The house would have been spotless for her arrival. A brilliant summer afternoon, the woods shaded our deck allowing speckled views through the oak leaves to the blue sky above. The two were casually enjoying some social time under this outdoor canopy. A pitcher of tea was being chilled in the fridge.

It may have been childhood summer boredom, but I needed some adventure. I chose a slightly bad but humorous option. Ok, only humorous to me. I grabbed every tea-colored liquid from the cupboards. Bitters, Worcester Sauce, soy sauce, and others were added to the ice tea. When Mom retrieved the tea, I watched through the windows as they took a drink of this cool refreshing concoction. Together they sipped, grimaced and swallowed, and then feigned satisfaction. Conversation continued as if nothing happened. Is that all? My creative work led to nothing other than polite smiles? The punishment I knew would be coming was not worth this lack of response.

From Mrs. Coleman's perspective, etiquette meant silence. Don't offend. Pretend satisfaction, though I am certain she never did taste anything as awful as this. For Mom, it may have been embarrassment that kept her from commenting on the tea. Both were somewhat caught in the trap of keeping up appearances. All is well though the tea tastes like bathroom cleaner. Smile. Etiquette ice tea.

I have not been the butt end of a joke like this. Surprisingly. Yet, I certainly have kept up appearances and feigned enjoyment in other circumstances. "All is well with me. How about you?" Though my emotions and spirit have felt as if they have been tainted by various negative life events, I have smiled and politely feigned satisfaction. Maybe this comes from embarrassment or pride that I look polished and together. Yet, the result is always the same. Conversation and relationship continue though we each sit knowing something isn't quite right. We depart, say this was lovely, and that we should do it again. Yet, I have left feeling empty and lonely.

It would have taken some steps of faith for Mom to say, "This tea is really bad. Oops, sorry. Must be that little Robbie at it again!" There would have been some admission that her son was a prankster, not altogether wholesome. It would have meant some honesty and a willingness to laugh at life. "Oh, well. Such happens in life, Mrs. Coleman." Mrs. Coleman may still have not said anything. Mom may have more openly lost face in that case, and that was the risk. Yet, there was opportunity. A few spoken words could have created a more intimate relationship between the two. Maybe it could have been a pathway to discussion about kids, family life, and so on.

Life seems to pour tainted ice tea, at times. Events, circumstances, and relationships can turn sour. When we drink that cup, we can keep silent and feign satisfaction. Or, we can talk openly to others. The other person may sit politely, smile, and do nothing. Yet, some time and patience will always lead to someone honest and real enough to receive our messy, not-altogether selves.

Even better is open dialogue with God. For a season, we may sense that God sits silently while we drink in life's taintings. Yet, I've found that it's not been God. It's been me not taking the time to sit and be real with him. When I do take that time, I find a trusted Confidant who will carry my load, clear up the murky waters and provide a clear, refreshing drink.

Carry each other's burden's...Gal 6: 2

Everyone who drinks this water [from the well] will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become a spring in him welling up to eternal life. Jn 4: 13